Whether you love or hate to shop for clothes, there are a few guidelines that I suggest, which make shopping more productive, way less painful, exhaustive and far less wasteful.

One: Shop alone. No friends, sisters, mothers or mother in laws.

Why? For starters I have never met a woman that wants to dress like her mother or mother-in-law. Not ever!

Unless your shopping partner is able to determine what looks great on YOU, and not what she likes, you will end up spending money on items you will unlikely wear, and I know this because of all the times a client has told me the history of her closet’s unworn and unloved mistakes.

As an example, let’s say your shopping sidekick loves to wear floral prints in bright neon colors, so she urges you to try on a top or dress that meets her personal choices. Now she cannot stop shrieking with delight, urging you to buy this colorful beauty, while you look and feel like a tropical drink at a Tiki bar.

Despite knowing in your gut, that this is not what you should buy, you do not want to disappoint your beaming pal and ruin a fun, or let’s just get it over with, day. Besides, the salesperson can’t stop telling you how terrific you look. And that leads me to:

Two: Don’t let a complete stranger, who makes commission tell you how great you look. Yes, your butt might actually look big, but it is doubtful she will tell you the truth.

Of course, there are some great salespeople and be sure to shop with them whenever possible, but unless you know she or he will be completely honest and creative with you, put on some earplugs and trust your gut. I promise that your first reaction to how you look is the one that counts.

Three: Don’t Leave Your Dressing Room.

There you are in the dressing room, but you need to see how you look from all sides before you can decide if this is the outfit for you. No problem, all you have to do is step out of your dressing room and take a look in the three-way mirror all the rooms share.

Then you hear those reassuring words; “Oh Honey, that looks wonderful on you!” In case you couldn’t hear her, as you were too busy jumping up and down trying to see how you would look in heels, a neighboring customer also tells you how wonderful you look. SOLD.

So what if the color is all wrong, and you are having a hard time breathing in this outfit as your lungs and stomach are being compressed by the fit. Two strangers love it on you and despite the fact that one of them happens to be on commission, you now love this outfit on you as well. You love it, because their compliments have caused you to unconsciously become attached, and have clouded your ability to make your own decision.

Four: Be aware that stores deliberately place three-way mirrors in communal spaces, so that you get the ‘compliments’ from strangers that will seal the deal.

Five: If you do step out so you can see how you look from behind, follow my advice above, and listen to music or pretend to be on a call. Do whatever it takes to avoid being influenced by strangers and above all, avoid eye contact. Okay, that one I made up from all my younger years of watching too much science fiction TV.

Here is a segment of an email send to me by a participant from one of my presentations:

PS. “I laughed when you suggested that we shop alone, and not with a friend who will dress us in her tastes and not mine. This was my recent experience. A friend we’ll call “Floral freak” selected an orange, yep, ORANGE floral top for me and she enthusiastically said it complimented my looks. Upon reflection, I do think it was the top she was admired and not me in it. It was half price and we could not resist!

When my wits returned and I was home again with buyer’s remorse, I decided to donate it to someone who actually looks good in orange. And that I will. Thanks again!”

Shopping for clothes doesn’t have to be a stressful, wasteful experience. By shopping alone, trusting your instincts, and staying true to your personal style, you can build a wardrobe that makes you feel amazing every day. Remember, it’s not about pleasing others or following trends—it’s about feeling confident and comfortable in what you wear.

And then she said:
“I was on a mission to create more space for myself, and there was Scarlett to the rescue!! It was overwhelming to have 3 closets filled with clothes, most of which I didn’t wear. In addition, I had built-in drawers that held my sweater collection, a chest of drawers just for scarves, a downstairs closet for seasonal coats and jackets, and the basement for off-season coats, jackets, and boots. Scarlett helped me go through it all via Zoom piece by piece until we curated my collection to fit in just one upstairs closet plus a separate space for displaying my scarfs on hangers, so cool! (I donated the chest of drawers). I now have one coat closet for all seasons and my shoes and boots all fit there too!! I feel terrific, unburdened, delighting in all my empty spaces. I could never have gotten up the courage to part with so many things on my own and have a great time doing so! Yay for Scarlett!! My prayers have been answered!!”
Gayle Buff

Don’t Shop Till YOU Drop, because that hasn’t worked!

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