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how to dress after divorce

Divorced, Despair, and What To Wear: After Divorce Makeover Advice

how to dress after divorce

It happens. Did it happen to you? A special friend? A relative? Often when you least expect or want, it happens.

It is the D-word: Divorce.

Divorced, Despair and What To Wear?

So here you are, single again, and questioning everything about yourself just like you did when you were in High School, except now you are in the school of life.

Why was I not good enough? What did I do wrong? Is it because I’m old? Is it because I no longer look the way I did when we first got married?

Who would want me now? How can I compete with younger women to find a loving partner? Who would find me attractive?

Then you might start telling yourself some very destructive and self-sabotaging messages, such as:

*Now I’ll be alone for the rest of my life.
*I hate how I look.
*I look tired.
*I look old.
*I look terrible in all my clothes.

I am sure you have had a few of the damaging inner chatter talks, but I want to tell you to stop talking and start listening.

You are never too old to love how you look. NEVER! The only person you have to impress is yourself and only yourself. When you like what you see in a full-length mirror, others will as well.

I see that sparkle in a woman’s eyes when she sees herself in clothes that transform her from feeling frumpy to fabulous. ALL women can have that sparkle, no matter their age, size, budget or marital status.

Don’t think you have to dress like you are in your 30’s to look desirable, as that will backfire in a big way. When women dress like they are a few decades younger it often makes them look even older and occasionally a bit silly.

Let’s get started on getting you going in the right direction about the brand new chapter in your book, and together we can make it a page-turner!

FYI: This is a chapter from my book, Stop Stressing About Dressing.

Post Divorce Makeover Ideas

Take the following steps to get a fresh start on transforming how you feel and see yourself.

  1. Get all new bras professionally fitted of course, as well as panties. Only you have to know how pretty your lingerie looks…for now, that is.
  2. Donate or sell the clothes that bring up negative or sad emotions. If the dress you wore on a special anniversary or other event makes you feel down or causes out loud sighing, get it out of your home just like your ex.
  3. Don’t keep the empty closet space from your ex’s exit as a shrine. One of my clients emptied her ex-husbands custom-made closet so I suggested turning it into a shoe and handbag closet, which she did. Now she smiles when she opens its doors instead of mourning what once was.
  4. Try a new hairstyle, but shampoo first. Think: I’m going to wash that man right out of my hair.
  5. Get a new makeup and skincare routine. Each product that you apply is a form of rejuvenation. YOU deserve to be pampered.
  6. Get a manicure regularly, or do your own nails. No more getting your hands dirty is required.
  7. Pick one of your best features and highlight it with your clothes and accessories. This could be your eyes, hair, skin, legs, or even a sense of humor.
  8. Dress nicely every single time you go out. Whether you are walking the dog, buying groceries, going to the library, mall, or getting a root canal. Dress like you won’t be embarrassed if you bump into someone you know. Not only will you feel good that you made the effort, you’ll look good too.

 It is never too late to look your best, start over, and look forward. There’s a reason people don’t walk backward!

What was your feeling about your body/clothes/sense of self post-divorce? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

 Did you know that you can end any frustrations you have regarding what to wear dilemmas with a virtual consultation?

how to dress after divorceI was amazed at how much value Scarlett provided me in our virtual consultation. Not only did she quickly grasp the clothes that looked like “me” from just a series of photographs, but she picked up on colors and combinations which were not in the photos but I personally liked and encouraged me to use them more because they enhanced my features. Scarlett also gave me the reinforcement to understand why some items looked better on me than others. Then to top it off she provided a comprehensive list of examples I could instantly add to my wardrobe. In 2 hours I went from uncertain to confident with a new batch of clothes that really work for me on the way. ”  Allison Hartsoe – Digital Analytics Expert allisonhartsoe.com.   

how to dress after divorce

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A Real Before and After Makeover

BEFORE                                                                            AFTER

Before and After Makeover                                                             Before and After Makeover

Before and After Makeover.

Don’t you ever wonder why most of the TV makeovers take a woman in jeans and then put her a cocktail dress as part of her makeover?

Let’s not forget, she is also placed in heels she can barely walk in and often remove her glasses so she cannot even clearly see what she now looks like?

That kind of makeover drives me crazy, because the women’s lifestyle, budget, and needs were not considered for her makeover. These are a made for TV makeover and not for the real women that I work with. You know who I mean because you most probably are like my clients.

You rarely need to wear a cocktail dress, but you do need to know what and how to wear what you already own and what you should buy to expand your wardrobe and make it easy for you to figure out what to wear.

Actually, what you might want to know is what to wear to the grocery store or to meet a client for a casual meeting. You know, all that real life kind of stuff.

Above is a before and after makeover using what my client had in her closet. The top photo is what she wore to greet me at the door, and the after makeover outfit is what I put together for her, using what I found in her closet.

She told me that she never would have put these pieces together, and hadn’t even been wearing the topsI discovered in her closet.

The reason this makeover works is because I was able to determine which colors, cut and style would be the most flattering on her, by digging thru what she already owns.

Can you imagine how successful shopping for new clothes will be when you know what works best on you?

      BEFORE                                                                            AFTER

makeover                                                             

Scarlett’s warmth and kindness immediately put me at ease as soon as she stepped in the door. She came to help me put together an outfit for the most important moment of my career, giving my first TEDx talk! I was working through my stage fright, and I knew that if I looked great on stage, I would feel much more confident on the big day.
Scarlett helped me choose the right colors for my skin and hair, and ended up not only choosing a fabulous outfit for the TEDx talk, but she also put together many more outfits for my professional life. I would never have thought of combining that blouse with that jacket and skirt. It was like getting five new outfits without spending a penny on clothes.
Sandy Weiner – Last First Date

 

© Scarlett De Bease & Scarlett Image, All Rights Reserved